Matters of the heart

Well, plans don't always go the way you hoped they would.

I'm a dreamer, and I always dream big. And once I dream it, I have a hard time being patient enough to wait for it. But life forces you to wait.

I'm sad to say that I've never fallen in love, even though I want to more than anything.

I thought I was a very patient person, but growing up in the "instant gratification" generation has worn it's toll on me. What happened to the days of long courtships, letter writing, soul mates, tortured yearning for another human being?

Am I the only true romantic left these days? Completely hopeless.

Today things seem so much more complicated. Dating is the worst of all. I really hate to date. I just don't get it. I keep waiting for my dating "Ahh Haa!" moment, but it just isn't there.

I don't understand why I can't just like someone, fall in love and live happily ever after. Is that SO much to ask? How does something so simple, turn so complicated?

Why are there all of these levels to dating: fast, slow, casual, exclusive, serious, official, 'just hanging out' (what DOES that mean by the way?) Why can't two people just like each other and let things go naturally? Stop putting all these labels on things or try to control the speed, just let it happen. Is that even possible anymore?

Maybe I'm turning bitter.
My rose colored glasses are getting smokey.
I don't always believe there is a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow.
And sometimes I really doubt that it is possible to really fall in love.

But, being the dreamer that I am, I will continue to dream of love. And I still believe in dreams.

So I will wait...

And wait...

And wait some more.