Dear Santa....

Every year I post a list of my favorite things, gifts and gift ideas.... I'm really late on doing so this year, but here we go... these are things I would love to see under my tree, in my stocking or any time of the year! (And most of them are things I love to give to my friends as well!)

*Once again, I DO NOT expect any one to buy any of these for me, it's just for fun ;)

Bordello Shoes
Every year I list these, and they are still my favorite!
You can find them all over the place now, but you can buy them for a pretty decent deal at straponsweetie.com

I love them all, but these are my personal favorites (I'm a size 6.5 btw...;) )
1 2 3 4

Etsy
I love Etsy! There are so many great shops, I couldn't even begin to list ALL of my favorites but here are just a few of my never fail go-to's (p.s.- add me- bitsy rini- to your circle on Etsy to see more of my growing favorite list!)

to decorate myself:
Fable and Fury
Strange and Lovely
Idle Hands Designs
ArturoRios

for decorating my house:
BeatUpCreations
Madame Talbot
Loved To Death
DirtyAssSoaps
Mud Puppy

for children & pets:
Helene Hawthorne's Dandy Dogs
PunkMonkeyKids


Gift Cards
I love gift cards that I can use for various things as they are needed/wanted throughout the year. It's so hard to buy gifts for people who can be very specific about the things they like and don't always voice what they need- so a gift card is very thoughtful and says "I understand that you like to have control, and love that about you." haha.

Here are my top choices for gift cards I would be most excited about!

Alaska Airlines
Michaels (or Jo-anns)
Home Depot (yes, I said that- Lowes would be great as well)
and... Disney Gift Card!


Charity
As some of you know, I love children and have a huge soft spot for charities that help children in need. Please donate.
Seattle Children's Hospital
Ronald McDonald House
Toys For Tots
Boys and Girls Clubs
Project Night Night
Books For Africa

Find charities to donate to: Network For Good


Random Items:
Hot Fix Rhinestones- all sizes and colors (especially greens, black, crystal, crystal AB)
Ostrich Feathers- (White, black, all greens)
Glitter
Classic Novels hardbound- Clothbound or Leatherbound
Display Insects, mounted and framed

Oh, and a thing called a Pie Bird (so cute!)

August Updates

Check out the Tempting Tarts August show. The Emerald Dollies will be performing a duet for the first time in months!! Can't reveal what act- but it'll be a classic! :)

August is my birthday month. It's my favorite month of the year besides October, because nothing beats Halloween. I hope to see all my favorite faces over the course of this month, and I really hope Mr. Sunshine treats me well and gives me a real summer for my birthday present.

About to go on vacation to Sun Valley, Idaho over my birthday week as it so happens every year. Once again, I will have a laid back birthday. Not a bad thing, but I'd much rather be in Disneyland for my birthday. I'd much rather be in Disneyland any day.

I have the itch for a tiki party/bbq. It's about time we have a summer bash at The Doll House. we've just been waiting for summer to get here... but now we better hurry up and have one before summer disappears again. So be looking for those E-vites in your inboxes soon!!!

Hope everyone has a funtastic and safe summer, and if you see me stop and say hi and give me a birthday hug!

xoxo

Bits

Summer Just Might Be Here...

Well, Summer has officially started... and Seattle has gotten a *few* true summer days. More than I've expected honestly. This has been a pretty sad year for decent weather.

Pride, however, was a beautiful day! I even got sunburned!! Ooof.

I spent Pride with my Tart Family and the wonderful people of Seattle. It was such a great day! We themed our float after our Troup Tagline "Seattle's Sweetest Treat" and all dressed as various sweets.

The Emerald Dollies were the Doublemint Twins of course.

And even rode a green tandem bicycle! We will be purchasing this bike for us in the near

future!!!

Here are a few more shots from The Tempting Tarts at Pride Parade 2011!

Dickie as Lord Licorice!


Rose as a Tart :)


Morgan as Cotton Candy and Jezebel as Queen Frostine!


Tiffany as Rockcandy and Sailor as Grape Wine.


More Doublemint Dollies :)


Black Cherry as a Cupcake!


Disgrace Jones and OtterPop! as Mike N Ike!!



For more Tempting Tart goodness, go to:
www.temptingtarts.com


And check out our next show July 21st!!

Hiatus

I am on a hiatus April and May- well was supposed to be, but with a surprise appearance in the April Tempting Tarts show: Broadway Tarts, and a debut performance at Norwescon 34- April wasn't a true hiatus.

May is though, promise.

I'm working on new acts for June and July as well as a new Monster or two to add to my list of monster themed acts- these will most likely be debuted in October of course.

And I'm working on a very special, very big project for November. One that I have tried to get off the ground for quite some time now but circumstances keep having me push it back. Not this time!! I'm going to do it!!!

You can still see me working at the door this month at the Tempting Tarts May show.
Friday the 13th is our Fears and Obsessions show. Come out and support my sisters, don't forget to say hello to me... and buy me a drink ;) ;)

Monkeys Were Everywhere!

A long, long overdue blog update, I know!!

Two months ago, I had the wonderful adventure of going to Costa Rica. It was more amazing than I could have imagined. I was expecting sticky, hot, unbearable weather; giant bugs everywhere I turned, and poisonous creatures with every step.

I was pleasantly surprised with warm semi-tropical weather. More like my trips to Hawaii or Guam, actually more bearable than my past trips to Louisiana mid-summer. I hardly saw a single insect- although when I did, they were GIANT! And I over prepared for sun-burn and bug bites, which means I didn't get either one! Granted, I was in the North-Western corner of the counrty which is a Tropical-Dry Forest, not the actual Rainforest. I can only imagine that the Rainforest was pretty much exactly how I imagined my trip was going to be like. Still, I will still be making a visit to the Real Rainforest sometime in my future.

Wildlife, though, was beyond my imagination capabilities. Since I was going to a pretty exclusive resort, I figured I'd see a monkey at least once and probably some kinds of lizards- like geckos. My family being from the Pacific Islands, I figured it would be similar.
Monkeys in Costa Rica are like the rabbits and deer here in spring time... They are everywhere!

And these little guys Coati... cousins to the Racoon, similar in size, but much cuter!

At first, the monkeys were not to fond of the new humans that were visiting the house near their trees they played in every afternoon. They yelled at us for quite sometime.

Finally we realized it wasn't the fact that we were strangers that they were upset about, it was the fact that they now had to share the pool with the strangers.



And so this happened every afternoon. We would swim in our pool until the White-Faced Monkeys decided it was their turn. This would result in a lot of screaming and throwing things (the monkeys at us, not us at the monkeys). We also had to be sure that we took all of our food and personal belongings off of the deck before going inside, or else they would become monkey property.

Right from the very first day, I made it my goal to make these monkeys my friends.



On our second full day, we were able to go on a river cruise in Palo Verde National Park
It was a beautiful way to spend a day, we saw so many Crocodiles, up soooo close!! Lots and lots of Iguana's of all sizes, and a few Jesus Christ Lizards (they walk on water)... and of course we came across a family of playful Capuchin Monkeys here as well.

We were fed a delicious traditional Costa Rican lunch, this is where I fell in love with Lizano Sauce... yummy.

The next day was our tradition of zip-lining! We did it in Mexico and have decided that every trip that we take and there is zip-lining available- we will do it!
It's one of my favorite things to do! This time was different because one of the trees we were perched up in also hosted a family of Howler Monkeys getting some sun!

Our last big adventure was a day-cruise that included snorkeling and a private BBQ on a white sand beach. I get crazy motion sickness so I'm very picky about not going on boats unless the trek is worthy- and this was more than worthy!

We weren't even on the boat 10 minutes when we were surrounded by Dolphins! They followed and played with us for quite a while, until we slowed down to almost a stop when we found a family of Sea Turtles swimming past (those were hard to get pictures of, they disappeared into the waves pretty quickly)



Even out on our sea adventure, monkeys were there.
This was called Monkey Head Rock.

After snorkeling (quite a feat for a lady who has a huge phobia of the ocean and fish!)
We were whisked back to the boat to find our white sand beach.
This was the only time I was freezing on this trip.

Once on our white sand beach we had a BBQ all set up and waiting for us, a table laid our under a low branched tree on the beach over looking the crystal blue waters. I could have stayed there forever. Really.

Then I looked up.
On the branches right above us sat a mama Howler Monkey and her 4 day old baby!!
That was it for me, I was moving to Costa Rica.



It was a wonderful day, filled with many memories- even though I did get a bit sea-sick on my way back to our resort- I was so happy I took the risk!

The rest of our time there we spent by the pool and on the beach, just relaxing and playing. I took peaceful walks on the beach each sunset and ate wonderful food and drinks each day as well (the most important part of a vacation for me- I'm such a foodie!)

Everyday, I worked at getting the monkeys to like me, lying on the floor by the window as still and quiet as I could be, trying to pique their curiosity. Everyday it didn't seem to work any better than the day before.



Until the last day.
It was like the monkeys had been teasing me all week, and now that they knew that I was leaving, they would be my friend. The staircase in our house was a large spiral one, with large windows two stories high on one side, from the top of the stairs you could look out on the pool. As I climbed to the top I noticed one particular monkey I had been the closest to getting used to me, and had named George, sitting on the deck railing. I froze, and almost on cue, George turned around to look at me. Excited, George jumped off the railing and came running to the window. He put his hand against the glass and allowed me to come right up to the other side and place my hand against the glass. There we stood, staring at each other- saying our goodbyes.


They now even let us come outside, they kept a bit of distance, but with a few banana treats, they didn't scream or throw anything at us once!

The monkeys and our last sunset really ended the trip in the most perfect way I could have imagined. Costa Rica- I will most definitely be back someday.

And I will find my friend, George again.

Updates in the world of Bitsy 2011

• The Emerald Dollies have moved headquarters to a lovely house in West Seattle, and weare loving every minute of it! We now have our first intern and our first business sponsor. Website, official logo, new cards and the first of Dollies merch are on their way!
• Burlesque has been kind to me these last few months, keeping me super busy. I’m looking forward to this year: I have some huge acts planned, one very special Tart show, continuing to build new friendships in the local scene, and some special travel arrangements.
• Focusing on my modeling again. I went a little off track with it this last year, but now its full speed ahead!!
• Made some big changes to my budget for the next year so that I can accomplish some big goals I have. Took a lot off of my shoulders and I feel like I’m finally taking steps to being a real grown-up! Haha
• Emotionally, I’m doing pretty well. I’ve sealed up a few holes in my heart. Cleared some fog from my mind. Feel like I have a firm grip on my goals and dreams. I’m healing from the loss of my grandmother, have discovered my true friends, and learned to stop trying so hard with the ones who are not.
• This time two weeks from now, I will be in sunny hot Costa Rica having an adventure. So I don’t have much to complain about!

Next Bitsy Sightings:

Feb 19^th at Re-Bar-I will be stage manager and pick up artist for the Pin-up Angels “Pin-ups and Pasties” show with Bachelor Pad Magazine. Come out and support the show and come give me a hug! Buy your Tickets Here!

Feb 23^rd at Rendezvous- Tempting Tarts show “The Lonely Tarts Club.” I’m not always bitter about Valentine’s- come see this rare side of me and come see me off for Costa Rica!! Buy your Tickets Here!

Some Letters to Consider

I’ve been carrying a lot of anger with me, grudges from heartbreaks in the past. Hell, I’ve been Mayor of Bittertown, USA for years now. I do have good reasons to be, but I don’t want to be anymore. I’m tired of being hurt and angry about things that happened in the past. I need to let go, but I can’t until I get some things off of my chest. Not negative vents, but public apologies and letters of forgiveness. These letters are my way of embracing the past, accepting that I can’t change it, learn from it and move forward. It doesn’t matter if the persons whom these letters are addressed to read them or not. Mostly, I just need to have said it out loud.

This is me moving on.

LETTER #1

Dear “The One Who Changed Everything”,

You took something from me without asking. You changed my life in a flash. I never knew how fast my life could turn upside down, how much damage could be done in one violent moment. All it took was that moment- the moment that is burned into my memory for all eternity- to change who I was my whole life and turn me into a stranger. This stranger would then go on to damage every relationship that could’ve possibly been, before it even had a chance to grow.

In this one moment, you took a strong, confident, independent woman and turned her into an insecure, scared little girl. You turned me into someone who would have the hardest time trusting a man again. You turned me into someone who would be so desperate to feel real love that she would grab hold of any potential so tightly it that it would crumble. You turned me into someone who was so scared to be hurt, to be looked at as nothing or not good enough that she sabotages relationships in order to feel something… anything. You confused me, you hurt me, and you took away my innocence. Worst of all, you walked away with a satisfaction. You left me there crying, thinking you gave me what I asked for. I didn’t ask to be a victim.

Well, I refuse to be one any longer. Being one has destroyed so much good in my life, destroyed so much potential love and friendship. I won’t let you control my life anymore. You were the last person to know the old me, the real me. But you will never get the chance to know the future me- the better me.

I forgive you for your ignorance, for your pride and your ego. For thinking you are God’s Gift. I forgive you for hurting me, for changing me. Because I am who I am now, I can’t change that. But I can change my future. I can change the outcome. I can stop people from you from hurting people like me. I know my real strength now, you tested it.

And you know what? I’m still here. I survived.

Sincerely,

"The Ghost of My Former Self"

LETTER #2

Dear “First Love”

For the first time ever, I fell in love. It surprised me and it scared me. I never did tell you that I loved you- like a girl, I assumed you would just know. Like a guy, you don’t know anything that goes on in a girl’s head unless they directly tell you. I should have told you, and I regret not telling you. But, honestly- it took me until just now to admit to myself that I was in love then. I’m not thinking that it would have changed what you did. But maybe if I had said it, I would’ve realized how stupid I was being.

You cheated. You lied. Although I didn’t know exactly how much, I knew you were doing both. I think if I would have said those 3 HUGE words, and seen the look on your face when I did- I would have walked away at that moment. It wouldn’t have taken months of drama, of dragging me away kicking and screaming. I wouldn’t have held on. I would’ve known that even though we really had something- something amazing and special, it wasn’t enough.

I’m not mad about it anymore, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate her. I really am happy for both of you, really, truly am.

It did hurt a lot for a long while; I had to work through a lot these last couple of years. My insecurities, distrust, and crazy clinginess only grew bigger after you left- something the next couple of guys who would try to be part of my life would unfortunately have to suffer through.

Most important, I forgive you. For you gave me a lot of good as well- not just great memories and lots of laughs, but you encouraged me to embrace who I really am. You were supportive of me during a huge life changing year, and I credit a big part of the person I am today (the good parts), to you. I truly believe that I wouldn’t have accomplished half of what I have recently if you had never believed in me. Thank you.

I guess you’ll always hold someplace, some part of my heart and mind, but from this moment on- when you cross my thoughts, it’ll only be fond memories, well wishes and support for you and whatever your future brings.

Love,

"No Longer Bitter"

LETTER #3

Dear “Tourist to Crazy Town”

Things started out so great, I hope you haven’t forgotten that. I enjoyed every minute that we spent together. You made me smile bigger than anyone ever had/has.

The first time we stayed up talking, we talked about all the reasons why we both were not in a place to develop anything serious. I should have listened to what you were saying- or listened better. I failed to see that you really did mean what you said even though your actions were opposite. I meant what I said too, and despite all my efforts not to (I tried really hard too) my feelings took a mind of their own and developed anyway.

You see, I thought that meeting you had “fixed” me. It was so easy to open up to you, to drop all the walls -To trust you. This was something I hadn’t been able to do in years, and didn’t think I’d ever be capable of doing again. I was ecstatic, but it wasn’t fair to you. My fear of losing something I didn’t think I’d ever find, and most of all my fear of never finding it again- gave life to a side of me I didn’t know existed.

I realize that I created a bigger relationship in my head than you were intending ours to be, but you did a lot to encourage it- I did not make the whole thing up. There was something real for a moment. The things you said to me, the way you treated me, looked at me- I really believed you were feeling the same as me. I saw what was and what could be and like the dreamer I am- I dreamt. I held onto that idea so tight, I refused to see when things changed. I pushed for something I knew you couldn’t give at the moment. I pushed too fast, too hard, and I know that I scared you. I saw the person I had turned into and I didn’t recognize her. She scared me too.

I didn’t realize where I was at the moment, but I’m sorry that I took you on my brief but thorough tour through Crazy Town.

I was hurt. I was angry. I felt like you had tricked me, strung me along, and messed with my head and heart- kept me around until it wasn’t convenient for you. Lied to me about the person you really were. And I had the right to feel these feelings, for while you knew what was going on in your head at all times- I had to guess. You would constantly switch between acting like a friend and something more, contradicting yourself so much that a lot of my frustration came from trying to keep up with your current state of feelings!

A lot of other things were going on in my life that you didn't know about, I didn't know how to tell you or how to deal with it myself- and they caused me to overreact to you hurting my feelings- and to this day, I’m embarrassed just thinking about it. The heart is uncontrollable and causes you do say some crazy things, and even though I know you didn't try too, I was a person whose heart you just broke. Not a crazy person. Not a nutcase. I didn’t deserve the things you said about me to other people.

Still, I want you to know that I’ve never hated you. Truth is I’ve only ever wished the best for you, and I’m so very happy for you and proud of you. I was just too hurt by the way you dealt with things and too embarrassed of my temporary insanity to be friends with you. But this is me saying I’m sorry for what I did, and that I forgive you for what you did. For me, this means I’ve pulled out a blank page for you, and although not yet, but one day, I do hope we can be what I still believe we were supposed to be from the start: friends.

Best Wishes,

"I’m Only Human"